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Exposure

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Exposure. It's a funny word and one that can mean many different things. However, when we think of the word exposure, the first thing that comes to thought is the idea of nudity. And whilst the idea of exposure can mean nudity, for some, the idea of exposure is allowing others to see their insecurities. We all portray an image of how we want others to view us and most of us put out a false exterior to hide what lies within. It's human nature and I'm no different. THIS BLOG POST CONTAINS NUDITY. 

 

 

 

For me, I lack a lot of confidence. I've talked before about the time I was slashed across the face when I was younger and while this left a physical scar, it also affected me mentally. I used to be a really confident and outgoing person but after the attack, I fell into a dark and depressive state. My confidence dropped dramatically and I couldn't see a way out. This may come as a shock to some. I mean, I've just posted a gif with my dick out. However, this is just a front. If people focus on what I'm doing then ultimately, they're not focusing on what I'm not doing. This is my exposure, this is my vulnerability. I'm currently studying a photography degree and part of that is to take a subject and strip it down, that subject is me. I'm actually not worried about getting my dick out. It's art and art is subjective, it's an opinion which can mean different things depending on the person viewing.

If you look at my photography, you'll see that there are layers of myself that I am exposing through images. Let's take my 'Darkness' series as an example. Each image shows a vulnerability, a sense of being alone battling through the dark, holding onto the light for as long as possible. This is me and for a lot of the time, it's how I feel despite having everyone around me. I've been through a lot over the course of my life. I've been alone for a lot of it, someone tried to kill me, I got into a violent relationship with someone who took everything I had and I lost the people that matter the most to me all. It's hard to keep your head above water when you throw all of these things into the mix and at one point, I was drowning. I became a complete prick, pushing people away and not caring about what I did or who I hurt. For a while, it worked. If I had no one around me then how could I possibly lose? I put up barriers to mask the fact that I was in some ways frightened about what would happen next and I kept my own exposure to a minimum. I didn't want people to see the real me because I didn't really think there was much to see. My confidence issues became a bigger problem and then, for no reason at all, someone persevered and broke down a my barriers one by one, exposing my real self layer by layer. 

There's another side to exposure that we widely talk about. The exposure of the human body. For some, this is a difficult issue. They are afraid to expose themselves in front of others because they fear the reaction. They worry about what others may think of them so they hide themselves away. They create a cloud of negativity around them and at the same time create issues such as body dysmorphia. They start to believe that they are not equal to others, that they are inferior to the person standing in front of them and with that, they also create a form of self harm. 

Exposure is healthy. I'm not talking about running around the local park and opening up a flashers mac in front of innocent walkers by but rather the idea of allowing others to view your true self in a way that exposes a sense of vulnerability. It's about opening up and allowing others to see the real you, the person you are without limitations. I recently accidentally 'exposed' myself to a friend. It was completely innocent but at that point I had a slight panic about what they would think of me. My fears were unwarranted and after discussing it, they've come to see that actually this is just me and accept me for it. They've embraced an aspect of my life and they have no issue with it. This has boosted my confidence a lot and has allowed me to be a little more open about things with someone when I didn't think it would be possible to do so. 

Throughout my photography work and my blog posts, there will be a common theme of exposure. The majority of my images will include nudes in one way or the other and where needed, images of myself will become readily available. I'm not talking about random dick pics, but images that are in context of what I am discussing and also images that form part of my degree. 

More in this category: « Censorship The Darkness »

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